Is this the best we have?

I was born into this world with such a pure idealism. Honour and respect and justice were important qualities. I always felt like such an alien here, I didn’t understand the people at all.  I still don’t. There is so much shallowness, stupidity and hypocrisy. And yes, narcissism.
And I think it has increased exponentially since the jab circus.

I’m not perfect by any means, I can still get triggered and occasionally act like an idiot.  I’ve got my own shit  to deal with, but I know when I have been acting out of line. I really feel it. I know I could have done better. Honestly what gets me most triggered is observing the hypocrisy and stupidity I see.

Is this how it really is? Whatever creator force brought this universe into being, this is it? This constant dance between good and evil and power is king. This is the best we have, stuck in a sci-fi world of continuous warring that is evident on every level.
Was Star Wars a documentary?

Maybe I’m just a naive idiot. Any thoughts?

I also used to be quite idealistic in a conventional sense. What I think happened is not so much that I lost my idealism as that it was transmuted into the path, which is the most literally idealistic course a person can possibly pursue. At a certain point I came to see having been born into this time as a silver lining, and farther on even as intended, in that had I been born in a more normal period my sense of abnormality would, at the very least, have been substantially lessened, and I estimate that there is a very good chance that my impetus for pursuing the path and sticking to it would also have been correspondingly reduced.

I don’t think it’s certain that I wouldn’t have pursued the path in a conventionally happy time, but if I had the option now of going back and being born in such a time, I wouldn’t take the chance. And for me personally, at this point I’ve come far enough in the process of cutting my ties to the mainstream world that I just treat all the toing and froing you’re talking about as a comedy to be laughed at.  

Now, to the longer-range questions you bring up, I can only offer my opinion. I personally subscribe to the Yuga cycle theory. If that theory is basically accurate, there are periods in history when human behavior is less chaotic and more harmonious because the forces that act on the collective human mind are different than they are at this period. So I don’t think you’re foolish in that what I think you’re feeling is an intuitive awareness of a real potential that exists in humanity. I’ve also come to the opinion that millenarian utopian belief systems, even those like communism that are not explicitly religious, have their roots in a dim even-if-unconscious awareness of past “golden ages” and their future return as long as the cycle keeps repeating.

With regard to Star Wars, while I don’t think it’s exactly a documentary, I do think it was likely inspired by real events, and also that certain geological formations throughout the Solar System that the mainstream attributes to slow natural processes were actually caused by sudden cataclysmic events, including although not limited to the large-scale use of extremely powerful weapons in grand civilizational wars fought in the distant past. This is the conclusion the Farsight remote-viewing institute has reached during its research projects. https://farsight.org/

I’ve been meaning to check out Courtney Brown’s website for months and months now, but somehow never got around to it. There seems to be some amazing information gathered there. Do you think it’s worthwhile subscribing? I know that there is a free trial you can make use of, but just wondering if you think the information behind the pay wall is really worth it?

I think it's worth it if you're extremely interested in the topics. However, aside from the free trial, there is a lot of free content, and they always do very long trailers that give some idea of what's in the project. People in the comments who are subscribed often state the basic conclusion.