Why did you enter this particular time stream?

From TOTI:

The post below can also apply to our current pandemic world state.

“September 15, 2001 4 days after the World Trade Center Bombing

Trembling in the midst of all this madness, huddling beneath the waning morning moon like frail cottontails so easily devoured by the predator, what have you learned and what will you do with this knowledge before it fades into the background of your dayshine lives, just another incident so quickly forgotten?  Now think before you speak, and dig deep into the abyss where your heart used to beat, and remember you are the creators of reality as well as its observers, so ask yourselves why you have summoned this dangerous series of random events, and why you entered the time stream at this particular place and time if not to observe these machinations and use them to drive yourselves down some road of action toward some semblance of evolutionary completion. Why are you here now instead of a thousand years ago and some?  Why are you here instead of on the other side of the world?   And do you fully understand that only complacent fools choose their manifestation in the completely peaceful environs of Elysium?  

There is so much I could say to you, yet I find myself holding back because I have noted a fearful and angry stubbornness which tells me that perhaps I have taken you as far as I can, and now it is up to you to decide what to do with what you have learned. You say you can only turn to books and entries in your vampyre diaries, and if those things are truly advancing you into the identity you intend to inhabit for all of eternity, then clearly you are doing what you need to do and there is nothing more I can teach you. If this is true, then please know that I am pleased for you and we have finished what we begun, and all that remains is the waiting for freedom which mystics speak of so eloquently. If this is so, then you Know our work together is done, and there should be a deep sense of peace and relief, the certainty that tells you that you have already become One with eternity and conjoined to Infinity, beyond this present realm of mortal awareness, out there in the All where you are dead and alive at the same time, creator and created, vampyre and mortal all at once, simply going through the motions of waiting for the play to end so that it might finally begin. And so I am compelled to ask:  do you have that certainty?  Are you One, or still in the process of Becoming?  If you still find yourselves wanting and hurting and aching and needing in the middle of that night that never ends, if you still have doubts and fears on any level, perhaps the journey really isn’t finished and is waiting to be engaged again with fresh intent that is more than just words written in frost. I cannot tell you which it is. I cannot engage it for you. I can only ask you to tell me what you see when you look in your own reflecting pond which is, without question, the unending River Styx.”

This is one of the (many) times I wish Mikal were still around to answer questions about his writing. Not to nitpick his words here but one part toward the end, which is not necessarily the point of your re-post, stood out to me, the part about still having doubts and fears on any level. My question to Mikal would be: So, do immortal beings just not feel fear at all, ever? Can they not have doubt about anything?

I wouldn't say it with sass or anything because I'd genuinely like to know. I understand it's not easy even for human beings to describe their feelings and thought processes at times to each other so an immortal trying to describe their reasoning or feelings would be, as Mikal once said in a post, "like trying to explain an orgasm to an oil spill." His statements make me think that immortals process and have feelings on a completely different level than that of humans, like their minds are wired completely different (for lack of a better analogy).

Thoughts on this? I realize none of us yet have the perspective of being an immortal so any discussion would be conjecture but I feel like things like this are really fun to think about regardless of the fact that we don't and probably won't ever have the answer unless we have the experience ourselves.

When I try to understand the way of the immortals I tend to think them as individuals with childlike qualities enhanced by their infinitude of experiences. Generally kids love life, are creative, imaginative, love without discrimination and have this sense of awe every morning because they know they are going to have another wondrous adventure. And they have no fears or doubts because they haven't been absorbed by the matrix yet. Now add to this thousands of lifetimes which must help to enhance these qualities infinitely and that's how I like to think of an immortal. Probably I'm completely off though.

This was my initial response:

The way I see it, when it comes to my own fears, they range from the gravest fears about my own safety and security especially for the mortal body, to insecurities I may have about myself. These all relate to the human condition. Mikal has said that the root cause of ALL our fears, anxieties and angst is that eventually we are all going to die.

I assume the  immortal has no fears for his safety, why would he? And do they indulge in petty fears and anxieties about themselves? They can be, do anything they desire and appear however they  wish.

I can only go by those times when I have touched a much deeper level of consciousness in my meditations and all the shit I was worrying about holds no power over me whatsoever as I seem to see with “new eyes”. My body feels like it has completely dissolved and I am just awareness. There is only possibility to be explored and nothing is a problem, I assume that being an immortal you would be in a similar state most of the time. IMO.

Then I decided to get into a meditative state and access gnosis and these words came through:

"From the perspective of eternity, fears and doubts hold little sway in the psyche of an Immortal being.
Love, expression, creativity. These are the foundations of the immortal's fabric of his being. ALL possibility lies within the Immortal’s grasp.

And how would YOU feel if you were already immortal and secure in your cohesion. Wonder, elation, gratitude, joy, unbridled passion for life. These are powerful emotions and worthwhile indulging in as you travel on your journey to immortality. Whenever you can remember, act and feel as if it is already so. Bring out the best of yourself, regardless of your circumstances. It may change your life."

Stay lit, don't trip  

Good points, both of you. Uthred, sometimes you see the same in very old people who have lived a strong, fulfilling life. They have no fear of the future because they've already weathered the storm and are secure in their identity. They aren't even afraid of death any more and see physical death as a transition, the next great adventure (like the child waking each day to something wondrous and new). I like to think those rare few will transcend based on strength of character alone. Can see this in their eyes, the eyes of a child with a much more vast experience and yet they don't allow that experience to box them in from enjoying and being wowed what comes next. To them, life is still fresh and exciting even if their body is near the end.

Yes, Snow Wolf, re possibility. Mikal said many times that he was "helpless before all possibility." I feel like I'm beginning to get a glimpse of what he meant by that.

You are right, so interesting that the average human being is connected the most to the universe in the beginning of their life and at the end (if they even reach that age). The way you described it reminded me of a elderly woman I met on vacation that was in her 90s (but looked around 70) and you could feel her radiating the love for life.

I guess that’s why young kids and grandparents often have such a powerful connection.

Rasa, in response to your question above  about Immortals experiencing fear, below is an excerpt from the Immortal’s Handbook:

“The first and greatest fear you face can be assigned the name of Fear itself. Fear of failure or fear of success, fear of finding out you are wrong, but perhaps an even greater fear of facing eternity knowing you were right all along. Fear of being The One because you already Know you are, yet you deny it because to acknowledge it means accepting onto yourself an awesome responsibility you do not yet feel ready to face. And so I must ask you this:  when will you be ready?  When will you spread your wings and fly if not now?

And so the second fear is called Eternal and Infinite Responsibility, and requires no further explanation. The third fear, born of the other two, is fear of The Work still ahead, yet what you are failing to grasp is that the avoidance of that work is far more difficult than the work itself, so this leads in a natural progression to the fourth fear, which must be recognized as fear of failure, also assigned the label of Doubt.

I hear your dreams. I have seen you fly. Yet I have also seen you retreat to your dayshine life and fold your wings and pretend you are just a girl in a dream instead of that winged being. And by becoming the girl living in fear, there is a danger that the reality you create could be the death of you.  

These fears are only the trappings of the dream and not the immortal fabric of the dreamer. These fears are simply how the dayshine dream is trying to hold you captive, but never forget that it cannot clip your wings. Only you can do that. And only you can not. Make the decision to be a vampyre and if you live the decision with Intent, the Doing will take care of itself, yes? Gods do not live in fear, you see. Only mortals. Who are you?”

I got the impression re the above, and I could be wrong, that Mikal was addressing those who hadn't yet transmogrified and were allowing fear to keep them from doing so. If those were the fears an immortal experienced, I doubt they would be immortal in the first place. They seem like such humanform fears, too, to me. Especially fear of failure.

Edit! Yikes, ok missed the last line completely where he says "Gods don't live in fear." Haha! Guess that does answer that question!